PrettyThin

This loneliness slowly fogs my mind, and blurs my vison.

 It leaves me yearning for things to fill this empty void.

My foolish heart is filled with hopeful  thoughs, of a better  future—

I tell myself—if only I do this  or that, ill surely be content.

I soon believe these lies.

 But in the end, after all is done and said,

 all that remains with me are these lonely lies.

Yellow stripes, black lines, all blending, all becoming one. They sting these lines, quickly turning red, disguising what has been there all along, the lines, red , yellow, black, all blending into one—in the end it doesn’t matter, it’s all the same., they sketch her arms, outline all her faults. Not forgiving, they painfully etch across her skin, and as quickly as they came, they’re covered up. All she wants is to be beautiful; all she wants is to be loved. But it’s too late, she’s gone to the blade, the red fills her emptiness with something, something is better than nothing. She hates this feeling, empty, alone, diseased. Hate, that’s all she begins to feel, but not towards others, but to herself. The hate leaves. The emptiness remains, always there, always reminding her, she needs the red. It’s become a part of her, it doesn’t matter that she’s managed to stay away for so long, in the end she always returns, to her one relieve. The only thing that makes her fell alive and, less empty. She grabs the blade, it fits so perfectly in her palms, wow-she had forgotten the feeling, it’s the ultimate jewel. She grabs the precious metal and slowly touches the surface of her wrist. She begins to add pressure, oh the beautiful pain, it fills her soul, she wants the feeling. It’s too late now, she’s cut. The memories come back, the pure joy and beauty; it asks nothing in return except for more of the vile liquid that erupts from her veins. And then it’s over, she looks around and sees the green of the park she’s been sitting in, the tree which she reclines on, the reality of her surrounding hits her, so shockingly at first, but it feels so fake, it’s not enough, she reaches under her long sleeve shirt and is reminded of what she’s done. She feels some shame, knows what she did is wrong. But it doesn’t matter; part of her still loves the feeling. And she knows that shell return once again and grab the blade and slice her wrists. Maybe one day shell manage to go deeper and it’ll all be over, but until then the blade remains her only friend.

                Yellow stripes, black lines, all blending, all becoming one. They sting, these lines, quickly turning red, disguising what has been there all along. these lines, red , yellow, black, all blending into one—in the end it doesn’t matter, they’re all the same. they sketch her arms and outline all her faults. Not forgiving, they painfully etch across her skin, as quickly as they came, they’re swiftly covered up. All she wants is to be beautiful; all she wants is to be loved.
                But it’s too late, she’s gone to the blade, the red fills her emptiness with something, which to her seems better than nothing. She hates this feeling, empty, alone, diseased. Hate, that’s all she begins to feel, but not towards others, only towards herself. The hate leaves, but the emptiness remains, always there, always reminding her. she quickly begins to need the red. What began as an escape has now become her only prison. It’s become a part of her, it doesn’t matter that she’s managed to stay away for so long for, in the end she always returns, to her one relieve-her one true love.
                The only thing that makes her fell alive, and calms the emptiness inside of her. She grabs the blade, it fits so perfectly in her palms, wow-she had forgotten the feeling, and it’s the ultimate jewel. She grabs the precious metal and slowly touches the surface of her wrist. She begins to add some pressure-slowly at first quickening with every second that goes by, oh the beautiful pain, it fills her soul, she wants the feeling.
                It’s too late now, she’s pierced throught, her once soft skin. The memories of her past begin to pour through her mind, she quickly grabs the blade again-the pure joy and beauty; it asks nothing in return, -- except for more of the vile liquid that erupts from her veins.
                And then it’s over, she looks around and sees the green of the park she’s been sitting in, the tree which she reclines on, the reality of her surrounding hits her- so shockingly at first, but it feels so fake, it’s not enough, so she reaches under her long sleeve shirt and is reminded of what she’s done. She feels some shame, knows what she’s done is wrong. But it doesn’t matter; part of her still loves the feeling. And she knows that she’ll return once again and grab the blade and slice her wrists. Maybe one day she’ll manage to go deeper and it’ll all be over, but until then, the blade remains her only friend.

hiya guys just thought id share an interesting youtube video with you

it was on the tv a while ago.

about 2 size 12 girls racing to size 00 in 5-6 weeks

its meant to be off putting but i was interested

here is the link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY9LLMTCjwg

dw its not some dodge link

x

hey im kinda new here and i could really do with someone to text for those moments away from the laptop wen i need advice and motivation to stop me emptying my fridge and crying and feeling sorry for myself for the next 3 days (N) anybody else new want a friend? um...im in the uk so texting would mean uk too i like to think im a nice girl but i guess everyone thinks that. im 17 and have unlimited uk texts :P get back to me thanks. holly x

Okayy, I know it's winter but I bought a TINY tub of icecream.

 Butt I can't eat it because of my dad. He wont let me eat any 'Junk' food until he sees me eat something 'proper.' It is so anoying. I think he is on to my little ana secret. I usually end up eating most of the night but because of him I can't now but thats bad for him really. He thinks something 'proper' is a sandwich and I REFUSE to eat that so

 Bad Luck Dad instead of making me 'Better' your helping me stop eating. I STILL want that icecream though.  I have two hours til I go to sleep the first hour will be bad but I should be okay for the second.

as if on my DAY 1 of the ABC diet, i nearly broke it. my mum forced me to get a costa hot chocolate with her. (luckily hadn't eaten yet today... hadn't had time!!) and so i had a SMALL HOT CHOCOLATE. and have now found out, i cant eat for the day.. because my daily intake is 500 cals. and yet this ONE hot chocolate (SMALL MAY I ADD!) was like 490 cals... 

GREAT START TO THE DIET. grrrrrrrrrrrrr..

not eating tonight now.. 

even 

though

i'm

hungry!! 

i now hate costa. 

i cant stop thinking about foood!! i keep thinking "oh just one snack wont hurt" but i know the second i do i'm guna be hating myself and end up blubbering like a baby coz im so greedy! someone pleeeaaseee give me some advice or motivation to keep going or i know i'll be tucking into the pies in the fridge! :O:O much love x

hey yeh

i really need an ana buddy............cuz i really need sum help..............i cant stop eating and im tryin very hard to control it but i just cant do it on my own..........if any1 wud like 2 become buddys then plz msg me x x

I go to the Gym Quite alot Now..But usually dont eat anything or much that day.

I was wondering If anyonw Knew Of a quick energy source? LOL

I want something low in calories that will give me an energy boost..as Im soo tierd sometimes I feel faint

Ive tried the whole..bannana and lucazade ( WHICH I HATE) thing...But Im fed up with it

Any advice will do

thanks

xxx