PrettyThin

You broke me.

You took my insecurites and you amplified them. I have never hated myself quite enough to starve or severly restrict, not until you. I saw it coming, I knew you would use me, but that only made it hurt worse.

How could I be so stupid?

How could I think that I would react any differently?

How could I sleep with you?

Why did I keep talking to you, even when you started to actively break me down?

You started to comment on how I wasn't skinny enough (I was 115lbs), you started to call me out for being sexually inexperienced, you started totell me how I wasn't pretty/sexy enough (I knew that already, why did you have to say it outloud and make it even more real?), you started to remind me how I wasn't smart, and you started to convince me that I never would be. Now you have taken to telling me that I am a slut because I have hooked up with another guy (Not sex). You were so clever about it though, you said all these things in the form of a joke. You made me think I was being too sensitive, and even now I wonder if maybe you were only joking. That doesn't matter though, does it? Regardless of whether or not you were joking I took you seriously. I belived you, and I even agreed with you. I still agree with you. I still need to lose more weight (I am so close to my goal but not there), I need to be better at sex yet somehow less of a whore, I need to be smarter, I need to be beautiful, I need to turn heads, and I will get there some day. That is what you were wrong about, you fucker, I will be better than you one day. I will be smarter, more attractive, and more loved. 

But I will be damned if I let you hurt her the way you hurt me. She is beautiful. She is so smart. She is so strong. So much stronger than me. Everybody loves her. She was a virgin, you bastard. She did not diserve this.  You will not make her doubt herself, you will not make her love herself less, you will not break her. I will not let that happen. Not to her

I will help her, together we can use you. We can break your heart. We can make you hate yourself. We can make you not good enough, and we will.

Just wait.