PrettyThin

Yellow stripes, black lines, all blending, all becoming one. They sting these lines, quickly turning red, disguising what has been there all along, the lines, red , yellow, black, all blending into one—in the end it doesn’t matter, it’s all the same., they sketch her arms, outline all her faults. Not forgiving, they painfully etch across her skin, and as quickly as they came, they’re covered up. All she wants is to be beautiful; all she wants is to be loved. But it’s too late, she’s gone to the blade, the red fills her emptiness with something, something is better than nothing. She hates this feeling, empty, alone, diseased. Hate, that’s all she begins to feel, but not towards others, but to herself. The hate leaves. The emptiness remains, always there, always reminding her, she needs the red. It’s become a part of her, it doesn’t matter that she’s managed to stay away for so long, in the end she always returns, to her one relieve. The only thing that makes her fell alive and, less empty. She grabs the blade, it fits so perfectly in her palms, wow-she had forgotten the feeling, it’s the ultimate jewel. She grabs the precious metal and slowly touches the surface of her wrist. She begins to add pressure, oh the beautiful pain, it fills her soul, she wants the feeling. It’s too late now, she’s cut. The memories come back, the pure joy and beauty; it asks nothing in return except for more of the vile liquid that erupts from her veins. And then it’s over, she looks around and sees the green of the park she’s been sitting in, the tree which she reclines on, the reality of her surrounding hits her, so shockingly at first, but it feels so fake, it’s not enough, she reaches under her long sleeve shirt and is reminded of what she’s done. She feels some shame, knows what she did is wrong. But it doesn’t matter; part of her still loves the feeling. And she knows that shell return once again and grab the blade and slice her wrists. Maybe one day shell manage to go deeper and it’ll all be over, but until then the blade remains her only friend.