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In tears over a website? Yeah, I'm that cool..
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I've been collecting thinspo pictures for months now, and I always found that inspiring. Little did I know such a heaven-sent community called PrettyThin existed. I feel so not-alone, it's overwhelming. I'm sniffling like a freaking toddler... :']
I'm currently 5'6" and 96 lbs, BMI= 16. Last year I was almost 130 lbs. I don't remember how it happened. Or more honestly, I've forced myself to forget every dysfunctional stepping stone I've taken down the winding river of Ana. Once you've started going with the flow, it sucks you in and you can't possibly turn around..
I actually feel pretty good right now, since today I fasted completely. While I was working out tonight, I had a strange epiphany: I used to tell myself it was okay that I was a little chubby, because I had so many other good qualities to balance it out. Then somehow my life turned inside out and now it's more like: I need, need, NEED to stay thin, because it's the only good thing left about me. I just hate that it's all I can seem to think about these days..
I often find myself tempted to spill my thoughts like this to my friends or boys, even though I vowed to keep this little problem as secret as possible. It's hard to suffer in silence. I just can't get over the fact that there's a WHOLE NETWORK of girls out there who support each other in the turmoil of their ED's. I don't think I qualify to be called anorexic, because I am lazy and eat often and do not deserve to be categorized with all you true Ana girls who are much more dedicated to being thin. But even so, I can relate to you girls, if only on a limited scale, because of what we have in common: an unstable relationship with food and with ourselves. I respect your unmatched self-discipline, and at the same time am overwhelmed to think that if a normal girl like me can struggle this much, how must a true anorexic feel? I can't even fathom the pain.
I have all you girls in my thoughts & on my heart. Stay strong(:
Categories: Random Thoughts, Beauty, My Story
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4 Comments
Don't feel bad, we all get a little emotional sometimes. Just remember pretty much any girl on here is willing to talk and we're all here for eachother. Welcome to the family!
I'm new at this 
I couldnt help but comment on this because i feel the same way! I have started collecting photos to help me loose weight and this website is helping me alot too. I also see how supportive the girls here are. Im glad I found this community. I also wouldnt consider myself ana but you put the words so perfectly "I respect your unmatched self-discipline, and at the same time am overwhelmed to think that if a normal girl like me can struggle this much, how must a true anorexic feel? I can't even fathom the pain." Since I found this website everynight i come here and read everyones posts and I admire the girls that are so dedicated I wish I could be like some of them
I couldnt help but comment on this because i feel the same way! I have started collecting photos to help me loose weight and this website is helping me alot too. I also see how supportive the girls here are. Im glad I found this community. I also wouldnt consider myself ana but you put the words so perfectly "I respect your unmatched self-discipline, and at the same time am overwhelmed to think that if a normal girl like me can struggle this much, how must a true anorexic feel? I can't even fathom the pain." Since I found this website everynight i come here and read everyones posts and I admire the girls that are so dedicated I wish I could be like some of them
i felt the same way when i found this website dont worry about it. there are a lot of people worth admiring on here for sure, and a lot of people just willing and waiting to help. its a great community
dont worry about it. there are a lot of people worth admiring on here for sure, and a lot of people just willing and waiting to help. its a great community
I'm new here too and happy to have found the site as well... I picked up on your saying "how must a true anorexic feel?".
You are one, a true anorexic, assuming that what you said is true.
Hun, your BMI is 16. That is the range where they consider ones weight anorexic.
We all feel the same pain... you hurt like we hurt. Degrees may vary depending on childhoods, mental disorders, environmental specifics etc. but we are all oh so much a like
hang tight.
Your struggles, frustrations and pains are all just as valid and serious as anyone else.
You are one, a true anorexic, assuming that what you said is true.
Hun, your BMI is 16. That is the range where they consider ones weight anorexic.
We all feel the same pain... you hurt like we hurt. Degrees may vary depending on childhoods, mental disorders, environmental specifics etc. but we are all oh so much a like
hang tight.
Your struggles, frustrations and pains are all just as valid and serious as anyone else.
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