PrettyThin

Sometimes I just need to get the starving artist out of my system... and tonight she was wailing, I had to write...

I forget sometimes that I’m fat and ugly and hideous. And I stuff my mouth with horrid bubbling oozing substances. They take away my feelings, leaving me stuffed and ripping at the seams.

And then I remember the sweet hunger pangs. The ones that remind me that I’m strong enough to say no to the person that I am. The feeling of emptiness that I fill with my own self-control. The beautiful demons that fight on the inside for my right to starve. I hear them growling at the thoughts of food. They battle it out on the inside while I listen. The sickening layers of skin drown out the fight to a low roar that others mistake for a craving of calories.

The beautiful struggle wages on inside… And I carry the scars on my sleeves. I win. I win… I’m losing, I win. The sweet hunger helps me succeed.