PrettyThin

So some shit on tumblr said that it absolutely cannot constitute a binge unless it is over 5000 calories. That's the magic number apparently. And, I dunno, I've just been dealing with a lot of stuff and I sort of went off on him. I told him that if I was eating uncontrollably, manically, and sobbing the entire meal, then I don't really think I need to meet his magic number. That I didn't need him to tell me whether or not it was a problem.

And he just said, "You're right, it's not a problem."

Bitch has this tumblr full of fad diets. He blogs incessently about the "Macro" diet, and proper nutrition, and honestly just seems like a damn hippie. His tab on caloric intake shows pretty damn conclusively how much of an issue he doesn't have, and he's decided to lecture me? I mean fuck.

And now, because I am a suggestable idiot, I feel like a failure and a wana and a douche for ever feeling like there might be something wrong with eating so much sugar that my heart starts pounding uncontrollably.

I'm just so sick of this. Sick of feeling like a liar and a fake and a fraud. Feeling like if I eat more than a cup of grapes in a day but less than a refridgerator I must not have a real problem. And I'm sick of  feeling like I can't control this thing. Like it's not me in charge and I'm just a food consuming robot with no emotions or soul.