PrettyThin

this is my fall from grace

my final mistake

i never wanted to die fake

because I always hid my thoughts

and closed my mouth

when I should have allowed myself to shout

i am going to work out again

but what does it matter anymore?

i will starve again tomorrow

but what does it matter anymore?

don't give up,

remember why you started

remember the goal

this disease has just taken its toll

i'll probably be here tomorrow

but i just wish i could go to sleep

and wake up flesh and bone

will i be real enough then?

this fat isn't real

an illusion

i should not weigh over 125 pounds

I should never have gained that much

i just couldn't stop

i am sorry i am so sorry i just couldn't stop

i couldn't control the binges now i must starve

and i'll starve until my body collapses because one bite and i'll go insane

no more bread for this girl

no more anything.

supplement supplement supplement

pill pill pill

smoke smoke smoke

toke toke toke

one day i am just going to choke

and collapse

at least the first time i had no idea, no cllue

i didn't care how slow it went, it was a process

i want it all now, all or nothing

i want skinny now, so i will cheat

cheater cheater cheater

i hate you.

i hate you so much.

why couldn't you have been like the others?

why couldn't you have..

why?

why why why why why