PrettyThin

Angry at them for not understanding-

saying addiction is weak

well i say addiction is strength-

a regressive strength

because you are strong enough to endure

day after day

and you are strong enough to not end it all

in a real moment of real weakness

weak is giving in

to temptation

is my addiction temptation?

no, it is a necessity

i am more tempted to stop

than continue

but  i am weak for giving in,

that is what i call a binge

but i am strong for holding out,

that is what i call restriction

it's a paradox, an oxymoron

the greatest irony

because it is both strong

and weak

perception is the only way it divides

you and I

addiction should not be a disease, someone said

ignorant brain in that head

girl who never faced an addiction

maybe an occasional bong

maybe an occasional party

but never a full out a addiction-

does she even know anyone with one?

i asked

she said no.

there you go.

until then you will never know,

never understand

unless you go beyond and see

even if it isn't right next to thee

but it's across a street.

didn't you realize your neighbor was a crackhead?

the ignorance is annoying

troublesome

how dare you make that person an object

cant you see they hurt enough

maybe it was there fault originally, maybe they were pressured

or maybe they wanted another distraction from food

maybe they were desperate

but if you don't have an addiction

whether it be to the cuts, starvation, drugs, or liquids,

whether it be something else entirely

you have no right to say they deserve no sympathy

and those ones who tried to get better

recovery was bittersweet

tried so hard- held out so long- 'god save me now'

but gave in

though, if you looked in their eyes

how could you say such horrid things?

most hate his or her own self

most hate that he or she could not get better

most of the time, this only makes it worse

because then they believe "why does it matter? they all degrade me anyways, they all think I am weak"

coward

weak

weak

weak

if you were stronger you'd be healthier

don't you fucking think they know? don't you fucking think that this only makes it worse?

it does.

there was a reason for that moment

a reason for that pain

and until you see that

you will never understand that there is more than just an addiction

there is a Person.

flesh blood and bone

maybe thin and hollow

scarred and incoherent

but that is a person

with a story

maybe a disorder

maybe a nightmare

that is a person

beneath all that terror.

blame them not,

they already blame themselves

let them breathe

let them speak

let them grieve

let them cry

let them say all that they hide

and in turn,

maybe they will tell you

maybe they will tell you their story

their struggle

their journey

and maybe you will see that they are strong

maybe then

because they are a survivor,

especially those relapsers

they are not weak.

*in my modern issue class someone completely ran their mouth about this and i retorted. if you disagree then that's fine but i know many addicts, and have struggled with various kinds as well so this is my view*