PrettyThin

Been gone for so long

should I even try to belong?

listened to every mellow song

even took a hit from a bong

I need to relax, need to chill

I need to stop living for the thrill

the hits and the burns

the cuts and the bruises

the lies and the excuses

Curse it all away

let it die in shame

me in vain

in vanity

but I no longer want them to see

I just want to fade

It isn't enough

to puff

so I think I'll disappear in the only other way

I know

eating less and losing pounds

Word got around but I turned my nose up

I am going to try and force a smile-

make it look like I don't give a fuck

three more months and school is done

college will have just begun

but at least I'll start new, fresh

I know though, I know

I will keep on losing until I can't anymore

because nothing matches the ecstasy of fitting into the old jeans

size 2

and nothing compares to the orgasmic feeling of hunger, starvation

when you stomach growls and you can't even feel it

you separate, divide

and your head hurts and aches

but that is when you know, you know

you are there.