PrettyThin

when you are sick of the excuses and covered in bruises,

when you are tired and always shaking

always aching,

when you are cold while they are so hot

when you wish you could just rot

when your eyes are heavy but you can't sleep

and your body feels so weak

when you succumb to the drugs

just to escape, just to be sane

just to make sure you won't eat or gain

when your body becomes an object

and your head doesn't even think straight

and your feet are dragging against the grain

and all you begin to care about are the bones

the looks

the feels

of being so skinny

of dying unreal

how can it be real

when you can't even remember

when you last ate dinner?

how can it be real

when nothing is your ideal?

and zero is the goal

the hero

how can it be real

when you don't even remember the feel

of being happy

or smiling

or thinking of something beyond yourself

how can this be real

when i am so fucking fake

always making sure my makeup is in place

always making sure my waist is small

always making sure i work out

and starve

always making sure i plan around my hits

always making sure my looks are deceiving

inside is decay

beauty is only skin deep

ugly is to the bone

and maybe if i lose a little more

they will all realize such is true

they will see my ugly bones

my nonexistant soul

and all the scars

i tried to hide

all the truths i kept inside

how will i cope then?