PrettyThin

My parents are the two dumbest shit heads on the fucking planet. They treat my eating disorder like I was addicted to cocaine or some shit. Just because you were alcoholics doesn't mean you fucking understand anything that I am going through!!!!

So here's the sitch: I want to go horseback riding, which is something that I love and one of the few things that brings me happiness nowadays. I have it tomorrow, and I missed last week because my parents said that I was too "sick" with my eating disorder. Total bullshit. And now they are saying that they are not gonna let me go tomorrow, even though it would be the only reason that I would eat at all. So pretty much even if I eat and keep down as much as they ask me too, there's still a chance that I wouldn't be able to go. They practically have me under house arrest, I fucking hate it so much. It does not help me with my eating disorder, it only makes me seek more control.

But otherwise, this morning I went and talked to the idiots about going into treatment again. We already sent in an email to this one place that is covered by our insurance, and we have to wait to hear back before we can get a consultation, then we have to see how long we would have to wait before I can go in, and blah blah blah all that lengthy shit.

Otherwise, I'm so damn upset because I purged today then ate 300 calories...with 6 laxative pills of course. Gonna have to take alot if I'm going to be eating like the fat pig I am.