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Defeated
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I feel defeated
I feel like my world is compeletly crashing around me. Why doesnt anyone else get it? Why cant they understand that ana is not a choice for me, and that its not something thats up to them to fix.
I just dont understand how everything can go from being so perfect to being so screwed up in such a short amount of time.
I was beautiful, I was so close to being 80 pounds....so close to perfect.
But now Im here. At 95 pounds and feeling defeated.
I was so happy with myself, with everything that I was.
I was strong, i was confident, i was thin.
But they all ganged up on me and sent me to a rehab facility...aka hell in my book
They forced me to eat. Everyday I sat there and cried because it was torture.
But now Im finally out, but not entirely.
Now they all watch me. They watch my every move. Trying to see if Im eating, if im "slipping back into my habit"
This isnt a habit. This isnt something I want. This is just who I am. Why cant they understand that?
I just feel so defeated
Categories: Beauty, Poetry, Random Thoughts
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4 Comments
you are still beautiful, never forget that.
they don't understand, and they probably never will. people who have never heard the voice and the desires of ana or mia or any ED for that matter cannot understand the pain and what it truly means. i started out innocent for me, and i can't let it go.
try not to feel so defeated. you can do this. you can always make it through to another day, and can only hope for the best. you can make your day as good or as bad as you want to.
good luck.
stay safe and stay strong, angel.
Best of Luck
Gd ur finaly out though :), atleast watching isant forceing. Hope things get better for you soon
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