PrettyThin

Why is it that everytime I get close to a guy and become more than friends, my weight comes up. My first real boyfriend is the reason I lost 36 pounds, because to him I was extremely fat. But even at that weight, I was happy. Now 2 years later, I am now close to a new guy. Sweet, funny, and just really cool.
But then weight came up. He's a pretty skinny tall guy, 140 lb. I'm a curvy girl but not sloppy. I did gain 10 pounds since the summer, since my binges have gone out of control since I fasted most of the summer. I lied about my weight but only 3 lbs over. He guessed 20 lb over my real weight. It made me want to cut my stomach and all the fat. Yet my friend at school said yuck when he could see my ribs through my shirt. [Ribs are beauty in my eyes.]
I'm planning to do a lot of running and cut back on food. I lost the control ana once gave me. I need her back