PrettyThin

Interviewers

1. I'm writing a paper; can you help?

   I am happy to answer a few questions, but certainly won't write the paper for you. So, I won't spend time deconstructing the ways in which a disorder and a disease are different, and where an illness and a lifestyle converge or diverge. I also won't answer questions that are already answered on the website - please, do some research before you write me. But I am happy to answer; just understand that I get a lot of emails, so it may take time, and it will not be a long reply.

   Please understand that I receive a ton of email every day and that PrettyThin is not something that I do full-time or even part-time. I am trying to find a way to balance my hours and give back to PT where I can, which means I often would rather be updating this site than answering questions off the site. When you come to me for help, please let me know if there is any value proposition whereby this community will benefit. It will be far more likely that I will reply. If I do not reply, do not take it personally. I am either really busy or your message did not capture my attention. You're welcome to try again.
   

About PrettyThin

1. You say that this isn't a pro-ana site, but in the "about this site" area, you say that you are kind of a support (in a way) for people that want to start living an Ana lifestyle. I think anyway. So can you tell me what exactly this website

   For me, this is the simplest of all the questions to answer, and yet it seems to be the one that gives people the greatest amount of confusion.

   
   

   PrettyThin is a place where people can talk about the way in which they perceive things openly, with people who understand them because they too have the same thoughts and inclinations.

   
   

   Imagine you have something within you; something that you think about often; something that consumes such a great part of your life that the general public deems it a disorder because it is something so engrained in you. Imagine having no one to talk to about it. Imagine knowing that if you told people you felt this way, they would tell you that you're going through a phase, or that you need to get over it, or if they tell you "no, you don't need to think that way; just snap out of it." Imagine if you start holding this thing in as a secret; distancing yourself from family and friends, starting to feel alone in this world and having nothing but your obsession to keep you company. Imagine how you would feel...

   
   

   PrettyThin is a place for people who "think a certain way" about their bodies and lives to meet and to talk. About anorexia, about family, about relationships, about anything at all. To talk openly, in the hope that they won't be judged, and in the hope that they will be understood.

   
   

   Members of PrettyThin, for the most part, have no objection to being told that they have an eating disorder. What they do object to is being told how to think by people who don't understand nor care to take the time; rather than people who feel their mission is to feed them calories; rather than people who sem to instantly forget that they are talking to another human being and not a disorder.

   
   

   Everyone is welcome on PrettyThin. Anorexics, ex-anorexics, people in the health profession....it's an open forum. The alternative is the closet...is that the society we wish to live in?
   

2. Fatspo?

   I received an email asking me why we don't have a fatspo section on PrettyThin that's "against fatness."

   
   

   First, PrettyThin is not a place to promote being thin nor condemn being overweight. It's a place for people who have an eating disorder to speak openly about pretty much anything; their struggles, their fears, their friends, their likes and dislikes. It is not a place to put down anyone nor promote anything. It's a place of belonging. I encourage those who don't understand this part to become a member and see for themselves.
   

3. Why did you create the site?

   I did not originally create the website, but did take it over for someone who did (does) suffer with an eating disorder (ED). Originally, when I knew very little, I was out to save the world, so to speak. I would understand the mind of the person with anorexia, and eventually find the way to have them realize that their worth and beauty is much greater than that which they give themselves; that they don't need to be thin to be beautiful. After a while, my knowledge about anorexia and my responsibilities as the site owner changed, and with them, so too did my mission. PrettyThin (PT) is now a place for those who suffer with an ED. It's a place for people who are like-minded to gather and speak openly, about anything. Much of the discussion is obviously about the ED. What I like about the site (and this is something I came to learn over time) is that people with an ED have no illusion that they don't. Most don't anyway. They are completely aware. I sometimes anorexia to being an alcoholic who has come to realize that they are. So, the question for me is not really "why did I create the site" but more "what is it intended for now?" Many members speak about their alienation from their family and friends, because they either keep the problem hidden from them, or they have told someone or someone has found out and through the struggle of trying to help, has distanced themselves. It's a lonely place, and it's common for me to get an email reading something along the lines of "I felt alone in this world, with no one that would understand me. If it weren't for finding PT, I don't know if I would be in it any more." I struggle with the site, and don't know the condition of my soul for being the owner of it; but I do know my intention, and that is to give people who feel alone a place where they can feel accepted, by people who understand exactly what they're going through. It's for the same reason I started prettyalone.com/ I don't think anyone wants to be alone any more than anyone who has an ED wants to have one; but when your mind is consumed by one thing, your image, and you are bombarded with images from society and media about what it means to be beautiful, thinking that the only way you will ever be anyone or find acceptance is by being thin, and when no one seems to understand your struggle to the point that you feel like ending your life, it's comforting to me that there is a place they can go and not be alone.

    

   
   

4. Do you consider the site to be pro-anorexic?

   The site is about anorexia and driven by over 53,000 members who are. Pro-Ana sites, to me, are those created with the intent to help anorexics be anorexic, offering tips and advice. The members on PT definitely engage in this activity, but the drive from myself and many members is to speak openly about anorexia and their daily lives with it. Think of a bar that is called "Alcoholics" that is run by alcoholics and caters to them. When you walk into a bar filled with people who are alcoholics, where alcohol is served, where the bartenders are alcoholics and you know you are surrounded by those that have the same issue, the pressure is not to drink and get plastered (unlike many bars I have gone to). You are going to be more aware. There are going to be people who are watching out for you, knowing the slippery slope you're on. PT is a bar for alcoholics. Those with ED or those who have an alcohol problem can go down a very destructive path. PT, to me, and to most members, is a place where they can hopefully find safety with a problem that is harmful (and they know it). PT is a place where they can be open about the problem, rather than living in a closet with it, or under a doctors lamp. Is it the best way? I don't know to be honest. But I think PT helps far more than it hurts.

5. Why did you use a different identity on the site? Why did you reveal the truth?

   Initially, I was afraid of being burned for something I knew would be (and is) misunderstood. I decided that if I am going to do something, I should be willing to be burned for it; good, or bad. I did not want to hide behind a mask. I am one of the examples of the website; if I'm going to hide in fear, then what about it's members? I think people need to step out of the stone age when it comes to eating disorders. I think in many ways we have, but parents still combat EDs by shoveling food at it. They don't get the problem at all. And society sees no connection between anorexia and obesity. They are not about food; they are opposite spectrums of the same problem - it's about self control. When you don't have the ability to control anything else in your life, the one thing you can control is what you eat. Some turn to it while others make it the enemy. But they are the same issue. with obesity we blame McDonalds, but that's not the issue. With anorexia, we blame many things, but they are not the problem either.

6. Why do you support anorexia among teenage girls?

   PrettyThin does not "support" anorexia. It supports people with anorexia. More specifically, it is a community for those who have an eating disoreder, supporting them, not disorder.

   
   

   To think that PrettyThin supports anorexia is similar to thinking of a website that supports alchoholism, or drug addiction; a website that encourages anxiety or depression.

   
   

   There are certainly Pro-Ana sites out there, and it would be incorrect to say that many members are not here to get support for their eating disorder. But this website is not intended to encourage people not to eat; it is not to encourage eating disorders. PrettyThin is intended to give people with an eating disorder a place to talk about the things that consume so much of their lives, and do it in a place where their words will be heard and understood by others who go through the same tormoil.

   
   

   Imagine living in a world where the mention of your eating disorder causes you to lose friends, and causes your family to look at you as if you're a bomb about to go off. You think a certain way - your thoughts are consumed - and no one understands. Sure, they don't encourage it, but do you truly think anyone on this site encourages eating disorders? But they understand. Do you truly think that an alcoholic doesn't know that drinking won't solve anything? Do you truly think that an anxious individual would remain anxious if they knew how to snap out of it?

   
   

   So no, we do not support anorexia among teenage girls. We support teenage girls who need someone to listen to them and understand that they are not alone. Loneliness has it's consequences, and many members have written about the way in which PrettyThin has prevented them from actions that would have been a result of feeling completely alone. They are alive - or at least have not attempted to take their life - because the members of PrettyThin are here for one another.
   

7. If a member of your site died due to an eating disorder how would you feel?

   I would feel sadness, not for my personal loss, but for the loss of those who will no longer have the joy of having that person in their lives any longer. People do not grieve when someone passes away because they feel bad for the one who has left this world; they feel sadness for themselves for no longer being able to have that individual in their lives any more.

   
   

   I do not think it matters if the person who dies because of an eating disorder is a member of the site or not, nor do I think it important if the person dies of an eating disorder or not. The death is the tragedy we face.

   
   

   I think the question being asked is a little more biased. It assumes that there would be guilt associated with the death because this website (PrettyThin) was the cause of the eating disorder. You don't "catch" an eating disorder. But the assumption is also that this site encourages a certain lifestyle. You have to watch the site for a bit to understand it - to form your opinion. You can't assume to criticize a movie without watching it, or gain the benefit of a book without reading it. You can't write a school paper without doing some research. Sure, form an opinion, but do some research first.
   

8. Why not try to promote healthy lifestyle choices?

   An eating disorder is not defined as "the desire to live an unhealthy lifestyle." We could have build a website dedicated to health and fitness, but then we may as well have made a website about any other topic, like horses, or beaches. This is a website about eating disorders, and it promotes the discussion of them.
   

9. Are you aware you are making it okay for people to starve themselves?

   How so?

   By making a website about anorexia? By having a website where members having an eating disorder?

   
   

   Find a place on this website where it says "it's okay to starve yourself."

   
   

   I actually will help you find it. Look for the link that reads Thin Society. Ask the question again: who is making it "desirable" to lose weight? Who is making it so that "thin" is beautiful?
   

For Members

1. Member of Multiple Sites

   When you become a member of PrettyThin, you are using something called a WebsID. It's what my host created to allow people to become members of sites. I run a couple sites, and you can be a member of more than one of them.

    

   You do not have to be the same person (profile) on all of them, although you could if you want.

    

   The nice thing about not having the same profile is that you can talk about things that are specific to each site without complicating your personality on the other. For example, on this site your profile might be about your life with ED, while on PrettyInk, it's all about your love of tattoo's. There is no need to mix worls unless it's something you want to do.

    

   How do you do this? Easy.

   1. Log onto the website you are a member of.

   2. Click Edit Profile

   3. Click Account Settings

    

   Make sure the check box is checked for the site you are logged onto at that time, and remove the check from boxes next to other sites you are a member of. That way, people only see you as a member of that site, or whatever it is you select.

    

   You can then edit your account information, change your profile pictures, and everything else, and that profile will be completely different than the one on the other sites.

    

   NOTE: Just make sure to log off of the site you are on before going to the next site you might be a member of. Log on and off of each site individually. If you don't, you're profiles will get all confused with one another.

2. More than a Profile

   Some people have mentioned that they can't seem to put more content on their profile. I am not fully sure what is causing this, but remember that this site is on a hosting platform and has limitations of that platform.

    

   Want to have more information on your profile than you currently do? Build a website :-)

    

   I would go to www.webs.com and build a new website there. You can put as much or as little information on your website as you want. Then, on your profile, just link to your own personal website.

    

   If you want the website to be PT related, I am making a banner that you can put on your website. Several people have asked for this, so I think it's that time. If not, then not :-)

    

3. Can sign up or log in?

   Please email my host at support@webs.com and let them know what the problem is. You may get a standard respose to check your junk/spam folder, so I would mention that you have done that. I also recommend putting in details about the page that comes up or the error you see (be specific) when you try to do one or the other operation. That should be able to get this resolved for you, but it is not something I am able to address on my end.
   

4. Trouble becoming a member?

   Please contact my host for assistance with this. Explain the entire problem well, and they should be able to find the solution. You are not alone...
   

   
   

   http://support.webs.com/webs
   

5. Is PrettyThin a Pro-Anorexia Website?

   This site is not a place that advocates the lifestyle or encourages the disorder. That's right; lifestyle and disorder. We don't assume to know the answer, nor do we assume to care. People are here for different reasons. Some to help others. Some to make friends. Some to find acceptance. Some to find thinspiration. Everyone has their own reason, I think thats the point.

   Someone with anorexia should not feel as if they need to live in a closet. They should be able to speak openly, about the thing that consumes their mind at every waking moment, or about anything they wish. They should be able to be themselves, somewhere, and not feel as if they are a leper, shunned by society.

   PrettyThin is a place where those with an eating disorder can be themselves, and discuss what's on their mind.

   
   

6. Delete my Account

   To unsubscribe from PrettyThin, you must first log onto your account, then click Edit Profile.

   Under Edit Profile, select the account settings option (I am refraining from naming it exactly because it has changed names a couple times).

   You will see a checkbox next to PrettyThin. There will be a DELETE image next to PrettyThin.com
   Just click that and delete this site from the list...
   

   You are now no longer a member of PrettyThin. Now, here is the catch. Webs, the company that hosts this site, has your email as a WebsID in their system. This is the Membership Service we use to make this place a community.
   

   If you wish to delete your WebsID, please contact http://support.webs.com
   
   Them....not me....
   

Becoming a Member

1. Errors trying to Create Account

   Are you getting an error trying to create an account? PT is the largest Support Community online for those with eating disorders. The host I'm using has a difficult time handling something this big because they never expected a site to get this big. I have thought about moving to another host, but that has complications.

   If you get an error Creating an account, just come back in a few hours. Normally I simply have to go in and do a little clean-up (I have to click one button). But I have to be here to do so and I'm not on PT 24/7.

   Just be patient and you will be a member soon enough.

   And sorry for the errors. Just not much I can do about it yet, but working on it.
   

Limited Members

1. I just joined...why am I a Limited Member?

   PrettyThin is categorized in a lot of different places as the leading website for....so we get people of all sorts, and they are all welcome. Mostly, people find the site because there google Thinspo or Pro-Ana and here they are.
   
   To ensure stability within the community and to discourage trolls, or people who somehow wondered onto this website for the wrong reason, we accept all members as Limited Members. As a Limited Member you can browse just about anything on the site. What you can't do is engage.
   
   This prevents people coming onto the site and asking about diet tips. Or at least discourages it. The new member will have time to recognize that this is not a diet site and will hopefully go elsewhere, like a popular fitness magazine website.
   
   It will also hopefully discourage people who are bored or drunk on a Saturday night and decide to join this community to get their kicks.
   

2. How do I become a full Member?

   simply fill out your profile, write about yourself and why you're on PrettyThin, and spend a day or two within the community. As a Limited Member your account is under review and will be upgraded in a day or two. Just hold tight and enjoy all the other content on the site - there is a lot of it...