comparing to models

[ErikaMember]

I tend to get upset when there is a beautiful thin perfect girl on a commercial or something and my boyfriend immediately knows them by name and says how hot they are. I feel so ugly and unattractive and jealous like I wish I could be like that. I obviously don’t tell him this because he would think I was crazy but it really hurts my feelings for some reason. Like I feel like if I looked more like that he would find me as attractive as he finds them. I don’t know. Anyone else.feel this way?

[LisaMember]

I feel that way. It’s horrible and I don’t know how to stop. It makes me feel like a crazy person!

[JoMember]

my ex was very much the same way, and it used to break my heart a little more each time. I was also in the throes of my ED then though, and have come a long way since…. Including leaving him behind waaaay back down the road i’m travelling.

I’m so lucky now in that my current guy is just wonderful. He doesn’t care about models, stick thin or otherwise, doesn’t make vulgar comments, and doesn’t compare unless it’s to say “her eyes, nose, lips, hips, stomach is beautiful….. it’s like/reminds me of/is almost as nice as yours.”

I do get worked up though, sometimes, when i’m feeling more insecure, as I think “well, he’s found that one thing he thinks i have in common with them….. does that mean everything else about them is better than mine/me?” and i’ll drive myself up the wall with it.

I’ve found that, because he’s aware of my ED but doesn’t fully understand it, I’m getting more and more comfortable with talking to him about it, questioning him when i get those thoughts, and the clarification that no, he doesn’t think they’re nicer, helps me so much.

I do fear that i’ll drive him away though, as when we had an argument a few months ago, he mentioned that he’s frustrated as I need constant reassurance and he sometimes feels drained by it, esp when i repeat the same fears over and over again in a short time-frame.

We do have a good understanding though, and he knows that I am doing my best to recover, and he is, thankfully, supportive.

Might you be able to try and talk to your guy about how it affects you? You say he’ll think you’re crazy… how come?  It does sound rooted in self-esteem issues, like mine is, but i guess awareness and acceptance are the first steps to coping and adjusting, right? And we all need some sort of support. xx

[ErikaMember]

I know he doesn’t mean to hurt my feelings and tells me all the time that I don’t need to and should not loose any more weight and when I slip up and say how I feel about myself he is literally baffled and in awe and says your crazy to think that and says how its horrible to live like that, worrying about what you eat and your weight. I know im overly self conscious and stuff so idk I just don’t want to say anything.

[PerciMember]

you could ask him to be more aware that you don’t do well with comparisons.   Its ok to admit that and he sounds like he could except that boundary.  That way the issue might be avoided.  I hate when anyone compares out loud.   people think they have a right to talk about the figures of movie stars, but I think it sucks.  especially when the media does it.

[JennaMember]

I compare myself as well, I google weight and height of models. Damn perfectionism

[Brookann WilliamsMember]

Your boyfriend shouldn’t be telling you how hot he thinks other girls are.
That isn’t right.

[LanaMember]

Does your bf know about your ED? I’d be really depressed if my boyfriend would do that.

I always compare to my models. What I do is, I calculate what measurements I’m supposed to have to look liky mody xy because I’m only 5’3 so often it’s really hard to compare measuremenst to models that are mostly like 5’10′

[ErikaMember]

He doesn’t know about my ED. I am not good with talking about stuff so thats why i just don’t say or do anything.

[LanaMember]

ok I get that. Know one knows about mine either …

[ImNOTaprincessMember]

FUCKIN VICTORIA SECRET MODELS FUUUCCCKKKK THEM!

[TripMember]

I’m a bigger girl and I know that no matter how much I restrict and purge, I could never look like those chicks. Ever since I got bigger, my boyfriend has been looking at more bbw porn. I wonder sometimes if he does that so he can still be attracted to me. I mean, I’ve lost weigh – but I have a ways to go. I try not to let it get to me because I know that restricting only sets me back.  -le sigh- I wish I was more confidant. Working on it.

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