PrettyThin

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I have a sibling who is bulimic.... i was skinny when 12, then my sister started throwing up... food made me feel better.. i went from 100lbs to 155 in a series of 3 years. i dont eat for days then go back..im trying to eat more, but healthier..its just hard to do so when your a freshman in high school, your mom was a twig when your age and your family always calls you the bigger one..

i m the fattest person in my family.. and no one ever lets me forget it. when i finnaly do feel happy with my body, the cycle just starts all over again. its not like im a whale but im bigger.

i just wanna cry all the time

After reading all of these forums and letters... I ask that you please post this as the very top letter on this new part of the website.

I am 18 years old... turning 19 very soon. I have had body image problems since i was 13 years old... when I was 1- years old, I weighed only 40lbs... when I gained weight rapidly... I became incredibly self conscious. Every single day was agony. In middle school, I afraid of being judged.

To those who appose this site... All I ask of you is this. Think for just one moment... what would the support and help here do for a girl such as myself, who has considered suicide so many times because I am so unhappy and depressed with myself. I absolutely understand that this is not a way of life... and I don't like it. I hate the fact that I can't be happy with myself and the way I look, but I can't let it go. I've tried therapy and I've tried working on it with myself... but the truth is, unless this is a part of your lifestyle... you will never understand the pain and agony that each of these girls, including myself, go through daily.

I know for a fact that without this site, I would feel completely alone and depressed. I would be in my head all the time! I still am... but I know I'm not alone. Going through rehab and gaining weight and learning about society's image and how it's completely unrealistic did not help me! It made everything worse. I have never felt so ugly and pathetic.

Everyone's entitled to their opinion, and I am truly sorry for anyone that has experience lost to this horrible and ugly disease, but please, if you never experienced it, you won't ever understand. If you went through rehab... that's great for you. If that worked, all the more power to you! I am truly happy for you and glad that God has helped you find your way back... but to those of us who still struggle and need as much help as possible from
something even darker... we need this.

Beauty lies within the beholder's eyes. No one argues obesity when someone think it's beautiful... they just think it's disgusting and are glad it's not them... so please, leave this behind. No one asked you to come and bash this lifestyle. This site is my home. I came to this site... it did not come to me. The same thing goes for all of the users on this website. WE ALL CAME HERE ON OUR OWN.

So please, if you have something personal against the disease, you aren't the only one. Please, go and pray, raise money for rehabs... do anything you need to do to justify your hate and re-establish your self preservation... but leave this alone... because these girls... they need this. I need this. This is my home.

I just looked at them, the first one shocks you, yes...but you do not promote starvation. Yes the majority of PrettyThin is anorexia guided, but that's because a lot of sufferers come here to find some where to breathe! That is in no way your fault. You provide what we want, you also stand your ground that anorexia is an illness and anyone suffering should get help asap. And we [anorexia's on here] will argue to the moment we die for our right to chose what to eat, to have control of our own bodies, that we should be able to do whatever we like to our own bodies, I don't know what it's like to have to deal with that. Under the logo of PrettyThin it says "a site about beauty in our eyes", showing that the site isn't revolving around anorexia through choice, it has simply ended up that way. The members actually encourage anyone who isn't already trapped in the hole of an ED, to eat healthy, to exercise a bit more and lose gradual healthy weight, properly.

We do not advertise any ED to any one, we help out each other [those with ED's] because it's the only time we ever feel we have a chance of belonging, the only time we can harvest the hope that we may just have a home. Alot of people on the outside will be forever angry and disgusted with PrettyThin, but they don't know what it's like here, they might come across the 1 in 500 member who does promote ED's and base their judgments on that. And then again, you cannot catch an ED, even after years of starvation because someone else told you to, does not make you have an ED because it is more than that, it may make you more susceptible to one, but that is not anyone's fault. Also, it is anyone's choice to join PrettyThin, to come back and ask for tips - to seek them, that is their choice and responsibility.

I feel very sympathetic for you, and I am sorry you have to put up with haters for the sake of us

I am ever grateful you do, I was "ill" before I came to PrettyThin anyway, I cam here looking for somewhere to belong better than this world out here. I left once, I managed 3 days without PrettyThin, and I came back to members actually caring that I wasn't there...first time I've felt wanted in a good while, if ever. PrettyThin isn't bad, it isn't "evil", it is providing the closest to a home for ED sufferers and a place to discuss our bodies and how to become comfortable. Whether that is through your weight, make-up, getting fitter, buying better clothes etc is irrelevant. Only to note that PrettyThin is only destructive, to those who chose, to use it for that purpose, they could find any of the "tips" they may get from here on the internet too, from magazines, there is nothing abnormal or corrupt about PrettyThin.

It is the best home alot of us have got, if PrettyThin were to close the site would be casting so many people to the streets for we have no where to shelter and no safety anymore. Do you remember when PrettyThin closed for a few days?! Everyone was in a panic, I hated those few days, I was even more alone than normal. Just had a thought, how about anyone who tells you PrettyThin is evil etc, gets directed towards a group of members who will put our point across, the points I have made above. Think that could work, a message board on the forums.

Anyway, you are doing a good thing no matter what the outsiders say. I would be alone and even more miserable, probably not even be here, if it weren't for PrettyThin. Thank you.

I just read some of the letters of ''concern'' that you posted..

I wanted to say as some one with an ED that no one is sitting here with me holding a gun to my head. I here of my own free will..
everyday i make choices , and yes - i have an illness and some of those choices may not be the best ones but they are my choices none the less...  and i make them freely...

To all those people who think that sites like this ''make'' people sick, or that they feed or encourage us - let me tell you its not true...

if this site wasnt here,, Id carry on starving myself - id find pictures to look at( there are literally millions on google) id find movies to watch, and id go onto one of the thousands of websites promoting diets or diet pills or excercise regimes... id look up nicole richie or karen carpenter... and when im done id do sit ups till i pass out ...

but id do it all alone - with no one to tell me when im doing something dangerous... with no one to ask ( apart from a doctor who will either laugh me out of the room or commit me ) when im feeling sick , and no one to talk to when im feeling down...

without the support of sites like this id turn all that anxiety and fear in on myself - and id eat even less, do even more sit ups .. starve longer, purge harder ...  and id probably be a lot sicker than i am now

This site didnt make me sick, neither did the sight of a skinny nicole richie, or a post on how to purge safely ...
what made me sick was all the stuff that came befor i ever hear of anorexia or eating disorders or pro ana.. and its those past experiences which keep me sick now ..

this site does nothing but provide a place for self expression.. people need to understand what really causes eating disorders...

if you take this site away - eating disorders will still be there, girls will still starve themselves and make themselves sick...

people who hate on this site and the people that post here should know that - and think twice before they condem us all 

I've just been reading some of the Letters of Concern and im struck by how many people seem to think this as a 'pro ana' site.

For me, being a member, this website is one of support. Its a community. Eating disorders and body issues can be a really hard thing to deal with on your own and I am so grateful to have come across PT. Without it I'd be in a much worse situation than I am now, and I am so thankful that you decided to keep running it.

I think the people that view this website as 'pro ana' take a look without seeing what it all stands for. They see the 'Thinspo' photo albums and immediately jump to the worst conclusion, because, i think, if your not going through it, you really can't grasp how alienating Ed's can be. Without PT alot of people would be going through this alone, without the support that this site gives.

So i want to say thankyou, more than you know.

I was turned onto your site by a friend at an ED clinic that my parents put me in for Ana. This is my 5th time in an ED center and I totally have not learned anything except for the fact that they  make you leave before your ready and you get no support  from all of the people that promise you support and end up with a bill that is $5000.00 dollars a day for being there.

I feel worse about myself now than I do when I went in there it totally doesn't help you if anything it made me feel worse. I don't think there is anything wrong with the way that I feel.

Self harm what about all the war or parents beating or abusing there kids or governments killing tons of there citizens because they don't think or belive in the things see things the way you do or perhaps people should be locked up for killing people in war or is that not murder?

If I'm hurting anyone it may be myself its my body its my choice! I live in California where this is an everyday way of life and if they locked everyone up in my city for not eating and dieting there would not have been a single award at  the Oscars tonight! Certainly no movies or models because we all are "menatlly ill" I just want to be skinny and pretty and if there is something wrong with that then stop making it such a big deal in magazines, movies and t.v.        

I love your site and am so thankful there are people out there to make a forum for the rest of us and it is total "Thinspiration" to me  Loves It  !!!

I've had an eating disorder since the end of my second semester of the 10th grade.  Now I'm nearing the end of my junior year.  Wow, can't believe it's been that long, so long that I can't really tell when it started or how.  Did I purge or starve first?  I don't know which, only that I switch back and forth between them.  Sometimes I just over exercise, burning thousands of calories in a matter of hours.  Years and sizes hve gone by, and suprisingly I have managed to keep myself at a minimally healthy weight, so I haven't been found out yet.  But I think I'm ready to plunge ever deeper, even lower.  Losing 15-20 lbs just isn't working for me any more..........  I want it all.  

So, who am I?  A focused teenage girl who works fo what she wants.  I am a member of the national honors society, spanish club, german club, andI am competng in a triatholon.  Yeah, I know- HOw can I starve/purge when I'm running in a tri.  Not sure, but I did this during track, and am training as hard as I did in track.  If I feel like shit, I'll eat, and yes, I actually have the will power to eat when I really, really need to.  I love to over achieve and win, but I don't want to be the most popular girl in school, and I'm usually quiet and anti-social, but once I'm in a different place, I'm the life of the party. 

Dislikes?  Gaining weight(duh!),  meat (I'm a vegetarian), skinny jeans on stubby legs, posers, twilight series, breaking out, velvetine, most mainstream rap, and not brushing my teeth.

My size is now at a zero-two.  My only problem is my beefy arms and gross muscular runners thighs.

There's the low down.  Thanks for the site, I absolutely love it here, keep up the good work.

I just wanted to say that you have a done a great job on ths site.

i have been alone with a ed for years now but after finding this site i have made friends and relised that i am not alone and there are many people like me.

I've been struggling since the year after my dad left, when I was twelve. I am now about to turn sixteen. I feel depressed. I see a therapist once a week (my mom found out about my habits) and I've gained weight. Im 64 inches and 125 pounds.

I've been looking for a good website to be a part of, since i have let the idea of "friends" go out the window. I once cut myself, but am lukcily over that! I just really apprieciate what youre doing. Keep it up.

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It's not a story. I just wanted to say that I read your "who am I" section and I really admire what you're doing. I just started doing this online but i've been ana for 4 years and i've never felt so accepted in my life. People here actually get it. Thank you for giving me a place where I can relax and be me.

Hi hwo are you. I am new and am trying to lear to meet ana and become her. If you would be able to help my start my journy i would love you for ever. I am 20 and am 165 lbs and am 5'5 i really need your help. If you can help me up on how to startand what can inspire me to stck with it it is much appreciated. thanks so much.

Thankyou so much for this site. I know that most people find eating disorders harming but this site shows me tht its not just me that finds peace in being able to have control over the only part of my life that no one can take away from me.

Sometimes I think the guilt is more harmful than anything else so i'm glad to have found this site (ironically through a show against sites like this) so I can stop feeling guilty.

Keep up the good work and I hope you keep safe as the world needs more people like you.

My boyfriend and I are having troubles. I am a size 6 UK clothes. I dont eat. I dont have a problem. Are things over because im getting fat?

Well im trying to loose weight, but im tired of trying everything with diets and exercise. I need tips, i need advise..heelp?

Im 5'2 about 120ish pounds. Im tired and lonely and need someone else to talk to about my situation. I feel like nobody understands me at all. I want to feel like i love my body but i hate it. I dont want to go into a deep depression or cause my family problems..so please help me.

I don't think I have to worry about my daughter going to this. She has more self confidence than anyone I know and she is not a small girl she just worries about me dying. I too binge like crazy but if I eat more than my salad a day I throw everything up. I mean everything!!!! I always force myself to purge for 45mins to an hour at a time until there is nothing left at all. I also take laxatives everyday.

Trust me when I say this life is hell!!!! And I can't stop. I'm so afraid of gaining weight and not losing more that I'm totally out of control. I lie to my therapist, friends, fiance...everyone.