PrettyThin

Five days ahead of schedule....check out the Who am I section.

(Updated on the 8th)
I also added two pages called Letters. These are the emails I receive from people about the site. I haven't figured out how to link them yet, and just getting started, but here are the two links:

Letters of Concern

Letters of PrettyThin

Many people ask to do interviews and surveys, either for newspapers or magazines or school papers. I have agreed to post this link to this questionnaire out of tens of other requests. Those who want to participate can, and those who don't simply don't.

To participate in this study, check out the section on interviews and questionnaires to get involved.

If you find other questionnaires out there on this site, I personally think no one should get involved because it has not been reviewed to ensure it is unbiased and that it has the wellbeing of others as it's intention. I think that this study is with good intent.

Discuss your opinion about this within the forums, near the bottom.

Ever sit somewhere and just feel that everything is going to be alright? I had one of those moments today, and wanted to write it down, and to share it. I just finished doing that; writing about how free I feel as a person even though I'm about to do one of the craziest thing in my life.

You might be wondering what it was I wrote, but I can't share it here. It's been written down in my digital diary - my own personal website blog - and to write it here again would feel like I'm keeping two diaries.

So, on March 12th, in the spirit of sharing and obvious desire to share happy things with those that in some way's I can consider my friends, I am going to post the link to my personal website here; which links to my Facebook and MySpace and....well, who I am...

I was looking at links from other websites back to PrettyThin and came upon this link:

http://www.monstersandcritics.com/people/news/article_1514379.php/Kate-Moss-s-jutting-clavicle-and-big-mouth-sparks-another-weight-row

The reason I want you to see this is to realize that people ARE able to gain access to the website and see content we post; they are also able to take images, even though the terms state that they can't and even though I ahve made the album so you can't easily take images (there is no way to prevent it btw - people can just take screenshots if they want).

If one of those images is of you and you don't want it there, please contact them about this and let them know it's you in the picture and that you did not authorize this.

Zander

(UPDATE as I move it to this page on March 1, 2010 - the article was completely removed by the site owner. Here is a member's email discussion with the writer. The following is a copy from a post within the forums of the site)

i got this email back after i emailed the author of that article, she wants an interview. i dont want to be a representative, i dont want to mix my words and fail. Also im wary that she may change evreything i say.

emails......

I emailed the author of the article that is featured on teh home page, courtesy, and she replied. I dont feel i can be a representative also im wary that if anyone follows through that she may twist our words!!!!!

How can i contact ZANDER?

emails-

Alicia-

I have removed the offending article.

I re-read your email and want to ask you some questions, if you would, to explain the pro Ana movement, and perhaps give me your insight as to the struggles and insight you have regarding this obviously painful topic.  I am genuinely interested and want to clear up any misconceptions. 

The flip side of this of course is that the world is getting fatter and unhealthier, yet no one feels for the people who have the opposite issue.  It's as if jealousy or resentment creeps in and castigates the thinner people, with no regard for their battle.

Would you be interested in being interviewed?  I think I owe that to you at the very least.

It can be anonymous or by first name only.

Please let me know. 

Again, terribly sorry for upsetting you and the other girls.
April MacIntyre

On Thu, Feb 25, 2010 at 9:29 PM, wrote:

Hi April,

I would like to let you know that your article about Kate Moss and eating disorders was terrible.

You have done bad research, your article made no point, you illegally used members photo's (by the way some of these girls are under 16 your breaching alot of laws here), and you have tried to hurt people who hurt already.

Would you point at a fat woman and yell at her that she is fat? Would you write an article about that womans obesity and put up her photo? Would you write about autistic children where u laugh at how they struggle with life?

I have no idea what you article told us anyway, except a statement that Kate Moss made ages ago, and then you just loaded crap onto PrettyThin. I am a member of pretty thin because i have troubles with my weight and depression. This site is a POSITIVE ENCOURAGING ATMOSPHERE. Yeah we may share stories on how we lose weight, but alot of us try to talk to eachother and encourage eachother.

Just because Kate Moss said something doesnt have anything to do with us, i have seen some girls quote it and that is their choice.

If you have one ounce of humanity in you, you would make a formal apology for the hurt you have caused. How dare you take the right to publish my insecurities, wishes, failures and life? In a world where everyone is messed up and looking for acceptance you dare to put yourself above others. Who made you almighty?

I am pretty sure that more than 70% of the members of PrettyThin could write a better article on you, legally, and with real facts.

Now seriously, you better fix your mistakes.

We want something done about this.

Many users have asked me over the months about linking to PrettyThin from their own websites. It's easy. You can do one of several things. The easiest is to right click the image below, select Copy, then on your own website, just Paste. The image will follow, but so will the link to PrettyThin.

The other way is to insert this code into your site:

<a href=http://www.prettythin.com/><img src=http://www.prettythin.com/prettythin.jpg border="0"></a>

I receive emails everyday from people telling me what PrettyThin means to them. Some good, some bad, some ugly, some beautiful. I decided to make a page that's like a testimonials page, but is all about what PrettyThin means to you.

Check out the new PT and ME link and write about what PrettyThin means to you. What your life would be like without it, what your life is like with it, why you love it or why you hate it.

If you have stories to tell or poetry to share, check out the Your Toughts section.

I am also building out a new FAQ (frequently asked questions) section that will help you understand issues like not being able to update your profile, not being able to add images, how moderators were picked (why, how, and what else), and then some other questions people ask from time to time.

And on a personal note :-) I'm going on the road. This is not a PT thing. I'm just going to be traveling the world for a bit and writing about the things that I see. Time to get away from the desk and the daily commute and see what else life has to offer. Now you may know why I was thinking about coming out of the closet on who I really am. It might be interesting to allow people to share in my experiences as I move around the world. I wouldn't feel comfortable telling people I'm in their town when I'm under a false name. It just feels a bit creepy. That's just one thing...

Anyway, we have talked about this before. You can now vote on it.

Stay Beautiful.
Zander

ps....work in progress

UPDATED: 2:35PM EST 
I am going to take the submissions in and review them before sending the information off to the show. Do you feel like Anorexia is a lifestyle? Would you like to be in a round table discussion about this and get your view across among others who have conflicting opinions?

Send me your information and why you would like to be involved. I will forward your information along. 

There are two major things I need to bring up today, one that you guys have been asking me about, and another that is (again) about interviews.

First, about Mods. As many of you are aware, last week a few Mods were selected. Initially, I was going to put the process to a vote. For most things, I think this is still the way to go. But after talking to some people who run large sites like this one, they advised against it. The reason they gave is that you rarely are voting for the best in the community, especially if the community is as diverse as this one. You tend to find mods who do the will of the majority, meaning the minority get even more pressure for being "different." That is not something we want to happen on this site - especially not on this site.

So, I did something else. If anyone in that section was elected, or if they recommended someone well, I would put their name in a hat, and I would pick about 5 - 8 randomly. They would hopefully balance one another out, and hopefully represent the diversity of the community. Through it, there will be (and as we saw already that there was) error. But this is not uncommon in the world of appointing mods. You always find someone who goes rogue or someone who just didn't turn out to be who you thought.

Well, along the way to picking the 5 - 8 I had to get offline and was unable to get online again to complete what I started. So you got only half of the process, and it broke. I'm going to do the rest now.

About Interviews

There is a nationally syndicated talk show that is looking for a girl to be interviewed on the show. Before I talk about my thoughts, here is the information for it:

 A nationally syndicated talk show is looking for young women who believe that anorexia is a lifestyle not a disease. Do you believe that anorexia is a lifestyle choice? Is maintaining a certain weight important and what you strive for? Have you told family and friends that you don't have a problem and that you are just living your life? Do you want people to leave you alone and let you live your life the way you want?

There are people on this site who fit this profile just like any other. I told the show that I would like to the location for you to apply to do it if you like, but this morning when I woke up, the first thing that I thought of (yes, sometimes this site is the first thing I think about in the morning) is "what if the person causes more damage for the understanding of the complexity of this issue than good?"

So, I was going to ask people to send me submissions and then I would send that submission along, making sure I got the best representative for the show. But then I thought "what gives me the right to choose." So, I want to put this link up today or make sure we do the right thing. Please vote (and comment) on what you think should be done.

I get emails fairly regularly about a member that is causing trouble. Either that they posed as a journalist and were exploiting people, or that they are making people feel aweful because of the comments they post to pictures, or because of name-calling in the forums.

First, the people posing as journalists generally aren't journalists. The last member Arisaurus who claimed to have been was not Erica Leigh and just a girl named Chanti.

People who post negative things to pictures of within forums, why do you reply back? Just flag the post and it will be gone.

I find it odd that people would go all a rage because of the nonsense of another individual. Ignore them; silence makes them powerless. Just flag them, and it will make them disappear.

Have people you think should be on the banned members list? Email me the info.

I have been getting a lot of emails about abuses going on in chat. I have hidden one of the chatrooms for which I have no moderation capabilities. I have also made a change to the chatroom linked at the bottom of the site. You can now only chat with Friends. This will make it easy for you to have a discussion with people without worrying about hurtful people getting in the way.

If this isn't working, please let me know?

Also, keep on submitting moderator suggestions. I will get back to this in a couple days.

Final note. Ever Google search the word "Beauty?"
A cosmetic store comes up as the first link. Does anyone else think that maybe we should change that?

I wanted to thank everyone for their contributions in the forums, by email, and by private messages about the last topic of bulimia. I don't have an answer yet. I think it will take a little time to bridge the gap as well as internalize all that was shared. But I do humbly thank you.

Today I wanted to encourage everyone to read the Terms of Use for this website. It also links to Privacy Tips. I am writing and updating them based on questions and concerns that have come from different members, and like everything else, I am sure this will change over time as well as I get more comments from you. Please keep them coming.

I am also creating a section for frequently asked questions, such as "why can't I upload pictures" or "where di my album go" as well as the not too common but still "how do I delete my account."

This weekend is going to be busy, so hopefully right after.

Stay Beautiful,
Zander

(updated) - Sample emails which led to this topic of bulimia 

For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, please read the About this Site section. I encourage anyone who's a member of PrettyThin to read that section, and the sections about me (Zander), and about Using PrettyThin.

Not only are these things that I update from time to time (not often) but also things that will help you stay safe as a member of this community, and encourage us all to be a better community.

I want to discuss one topic which I have received some hate mail about. It is very possible that my own ignorance has led me to make a statement that is in bad judgment. So I ask you.

This site is about anorexia, but this is not a pro-ana site. I'm sorry, but this will always be my stance.

The part I want your opinion is about bulimia. This site is not only not a mia site, but from my point of view, discourages it.

I don't mean to say that I look down on anyone who is mia. You all should know by now that I don't believe anyone should look down upon anyone else; everyone is equal, we just think differently. No reason to talk down or look down upon anyone else when you can look them in the eye and talk to them, one human being to another. When I go on the forums I feel like I am sitting at a table at a cafe. You look at people when you are talking to them regardless of your viewpoints or the discussion. You may get passionate, but unless someone is laying on the floor, you look directly at them, on your own level. This little tangent is not only regarding how I view anyone who is mia or anything else, but also something I want those who call others "wannarexics" to think about. What makes ANY of us better than anyone else?

Now, about bulimia. I feel that it is a wrong road to take. It's not a way of thinking, but actions.

Remember, this could ALL be my misunderstanding, so excuse me for it and help me understand in the forums under Zander's updates.

I see bulimia is not just a way of thinking, and not just a wanting to be something, but specific actions to be that something. Am I opposed to dieting? No. I do it myself and think it can be very healthy if done right. Am I against fasting? Many spiritual people do it, and again, I think it can literally be a good thing if done right. Purging...is there a way to do it right? Is there any way where that is the right thing to do to get you to where you want to be?

I know that it's not as simple as that. It never is. And I understand that maybe for some, it's a last resort; it's their only way of making it work when nothing else seems to be. But is it ever okay...I guess that's my question.

Please be respectful in the forums to one another. I really hope to learn from this, and think it might be something we can all learn from.

Stay Beautiful,
Zander

For a history of my updates, check out Zander's Updates

A lot of things have been going on recently, and it might just be because there are so many members and so many new ones each day. I want to talk about a couple of them now, but honestly it's been a long day and I need to get to bed, so the rest tomorrow.

First, this is just my opinion, but I got an email from a member saying that they made 20 bracelets and that the first 20 to email their address would get them. This person might be very well meaning, and everything might be safe, but I personally wouldn't share my personal information. I don't think it's safe; you never know where it might lead. So, be careful please.

Moderators
Coming soon. I will put something in the forum tomorrow so people can nominate others, and then we will vote. I think I will start with 5 people at first, but let's see what comes out of the forum tomorrow. You will find the place to recommend others in the Zander's Updates section of the forum.

I will also write about something that has been contraversial and I think the community should talk about it. I may very well have committed a wrong out of my own ignorance, so I want to talk to you about it. The topic? Bulemia, and what I have written about it from my view within the About This Site section. I will write about this tomorrow, and ask your advice.

Stay Beautiful,
Zander

I recently started going to the gym. I was really into it a couple years ago, then stopped going for about a year, and over that one year my tummy started getting bouncy when I ran down the stairs. It just sorta crept up on me. Well, I'm back at the gym, and being a fairly small guy, and taking protein and creatine and a couple other things I picked up from the fitness store. Well, as I try to bulk  up the rest of my body, I'm trying to make my tummy disappear so that all those ab workouts amount to something.

I was going to check my email this morning and ran across this article about ab workouts. I'm going to try it, and just sharing with the community. By the way, I wondered about the "(eating required)" attachment to the title. I know I've been getting even more requests about interviews than before, and people have seen the things I have written about Yahoo in the past, so I wonder if they're being "careful."

And just like the last update, I'm putting it up for everyone to discuss. Does the workout sound like it would work? Do you think I should be posting article links to the community?

Stay Beautiful,
Zander

January 20, 2010 - New Sections! I am going to be updating regularly again, and this is where I'm going to do it. I will then go create a section in the forums called Zanders updates where we can discuss my updates :-)

I have been getting a lot of emails from members and non-members asking permission to ask the community to do this thing or that thing. Everything from song lyrics to models for things, interviews for school papers and everything in between. I'm always been concerned about this for a couple reasons:

- how do I know any of these people are legit versus how many are going to try to take advantage of someone

- how do I know this person will use whatever they get from people in the community in a good way rather in a way that could hurt the community

So I had an idea. We'll do it all here. Those who want to participate can. Those who don't, won't. And we will all have access to it here.

What am I talking about?

I'm going to start collecting things from the community members and then offering them back to the community. You write music or songs? Send them to me and I will share them with everyone else. Write songs specific to this site and I will turn it into a CD and let peeople download the album. It will take time, but I think we could come out with something once a year.

You like to model? send me the high resolution images and we will create a PT calendar once a year. We can create a PrettyThin Yearbook that people can have access to. Have other ideas? Let me know.

I am going to create an interview board. I will post interview questions people have, and if people want to contribute, they can. If not, they don't. And I will ask every interviewer that we will post the interview questions only if they do NOT draw attention to this site.

What are your thoughts? I'm making the section about this in the forum right now.

Stay Beautiful,
Zander

I think the votes are in. I will let them know that I won't be giving the interview. There is a very good chance they will be featuring the site anyway (there is nothing we can do to stop that), but I won't be going to answer any questions. More to come.

Zander

I have something serious I want everyone to think about and give me advice about. I will put a poll up tomorrow to allow everyone to vote, and I will do what you decide. I just want everyone to think about it for a day first.

I was contacted by a fairly large news organization to discuss PrettyThin. I get requests fairly regularly, and ignore them. This one I would like to consider talking to, with your permission.

Some initial questions I had were "what kind of exposure would you, the members of the site get if I did this?" Well, even if I don't do it, there is a chance they will name this site (among others). That's why most areas are password protected, and why I give you advice on how to protect your personal information. So, my involvement at leasts offers the opportunity to give the public another perspective on anorexia.

The second issue I had is my own identity. As many of you know, I am not only not ED, but not Zander. Am I willing to risk a public imagine for this? Well, if it's going to be something benefitial, I am willing to consider it.

A couple things:
I would be able to take answers to interview questions from you guys, so your voice can be heard. How often do you get this opportunity.

I would also be able to take volunteers ho feel they understand different sides of this issue and might have something to offer. For example, I know there are several of you who are health professionals and members of this site, and know there are couples and mothers and guys as well.

These are things to think about. I'm making a sticky in the forum as well to start a discussion, but please be mature and intellegent when talking about this. No one is going anywhere and this is not happening tomorrow, so take the time to think about what you're going to say before you do. We are a community. We do things as such.

Stay Beautiful,
Zander

I don't think we have anywhere near a majority vote yet, as only about 200 out of the over 13,000 members have voted, but I believe I have a solution. If you look on the left, there is a new link call You Vote. I think a lot of the problems and drama are around people not remembering the votes of the community, or feeling that they don't have a say in this website. Since I am not much more than a broken record, I want to repeat that THIS SITE IS ABOUT YOU...that means, I don't make the decisions. Click the link to see what it's all about. Expect to see more and more things to vote on as the days progress. Have something you want the members of PrettyThin to vote on? Just send me a note.

Zander

Thought everyone would find this interesting
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/canadian-designer-stirs-plus-size-model-controversy-at-london-fashion-week-515863/

I also just received an email from someone asking if there are PrettyThin t-shirts. It never occurred to me that anyone would want one, but in the spirit of asking:

Would you buy or wear PrettyThin shirts?

Yes
No

VoteView Results
Polldaddy.com

September 22, 2009
Thank you all for all the kind emails and support. It really meant a lot. For those who gave some feedback, I appreciate it, and will start implementing them this week.

Come Vote!!!! The Pic of the Week Contest has started once again, and your votes determine the winner! 

September 21, 2009
The Pic of the Week voting poll will not be up until later tonight. I've been sick all weekend, and there are a lot of contributors this time around to round up :-)

Voting will start late tonight or early tomorrow, and the winner picked on Thursday rather than Wednesday.

Also, I have a TON of emails to catch up on. I get about 300+ a day, so I'm about 1000 behind. I apologize for not replying to people directly, and will try to put your suggestions on the site as soon as possible.

Stay Beautiful,
Zander

Add Zander as a friend

UPDATE: How do you add photos to this site? Just become a member and go to the Member Photos or any other Pics page. Click Add Photos and you can upload pictures to existing albums, or create your own.

I have received a lot of notices from people about someone attempting to ruin the community that we have here. 

 It's not difficult to ruin someone's day; it's not difficult to ruin a community. What IS difficult is keeping a community together. Understanding that you as an individual are an important part of a collective, but in the end, just part and not the whole.

Are you seeing disturbing comments? Seeing things that just hurt or bother you? Please do the following:

1 - Do not respond back. Don't feel the fuel of hurt and hate or the words that disturb. Don't add words to which a response can be given in hopes of causing more problems.

2 - Flag the post so that I can remove them.

Do these two, and the problem will go away...

Stay Beautiful,
Zander

September 9, 2009 

New topic for you to vote on in the Pic of the Week Section! Also, a bunch of great new pictures are about to be added. I just picked a ton of pics of the week, treating it as a "Hall of Fame" this time around. Because there are so many pictures, I am not adding the links to profiles this time. Sorry girls. I actually had planned on allowing everyone to vote, then posting that one up and linking to the right profile, but it became too much work; I would never have gotten around to it.

So, check out the Pic of the Week section and VOTE! and view the best pics of the past two weeks.

August 31, 2009

My last update, I said a little about myself. A lot of people have asked more questions, so I will add more soon. I am takng a quick break, so my updtaes are going to be rare, because when I do come on to see how things are going, I am doing some clean up of albums and of the forums.

M biggest concern and hurt is to see people (a few) frustrated at one another; hating on one another; making the experience on this site less pleasant for everyone. I hope that it finds it's own resolution. I don't think any kind of banning or action on my part will help. You either have to ignore negativity and only respond to the positive, or the negative gets stronger and lingers longer.

Pic of the Wee, along with poems and stories are going to be updated. I'm just not on the site enough to do it until next week. But it will be happening soon.

Also, I have gotten a few emails from people asking "how can you say that this is a site about beauty. It's obviously an ana site." Well, yeah, it is obviously an ana site, but thee is a reason I say it is about beauty, and hope it becomes known as that. I will also answer that question in my next update.

Just writing to let you know I'm here, and what's going on, and why the delays. More to come soon.

Until then....stay beautiful. 

August 27, 2009

Everyone was expecting me to write tomorrow, but here I am a day early :-) 
Who is Zander? Here it is! I'm posting it a day early for two reasons. This way, you can ask me specific questions and I will answer tomorrow. Also, I can get the Pic of the Week page created.

Talk to you soon!

August 24, 2009

People have been asking, so I think it's fair to answer. 

Who is Zander?
Why have I not appointed Mods yet?
Why am I involved with PrettyThin at all?

All this, and maybe a little more, should be coming by Friday.

August 22, 2009

 There is now a Scenespo section. Should we create another term that does not exist for another "culture" of beauty? Would it be around sports and fitness? Would it be around art? What would it about?

Weekly updates are not going to happen Weekly :-) They may happen a few times a week. Want to be a part? Contribute, and you will be noticed.

On a more important note, a few girls have been contacted by another member to do some modeling, possibly for some money. I'm not going to be one to tell anyone what they should or should not do, but I ahve a suggestion. If a member comes around with a suggestion, let me know and maybe we can do it right here, with you having more say and control over the outcome.

Zander
PrettyThin.com

August 18, 2009

I have received a bunch of stories,and will start posting them today in a new Member Stories section about your thoughts on beauty and the word Thin. I have also received some member artwork which I will post on that page. Those who contributed will get recognition (unless they tell me they don't want it).

Want to contribute? Here is a new category: poetry. Have a poem you would like to share? send me an email with the poem and your member name, and I will make a Members Poetry section here on PrettyThin.

pretty.thin@yahoo.com

Do you have suggestions on more sections? Let me know! :-)

August 14, 2009

Artists in the house? Would you like to contribute art to this site? There are over 8000 members at PrettyThin and I can imagine 1000 of us are creative, if not all of us. Express yourself, share your feelings and imagination and life with us all.

Submit your work by email, and I will upload them to a special member art page!

August 13, 2009

Hello Everyone!
This is Zander, and I am going to be making updates to this site quite frequently based on things you have to share.

I would like to create a section with your thoughts on a topic, and create a new weekly topic to have you write about.

This weeks topic is the word Beauty, and the word Thin. How do you define these things? How do they relate to you, and where do they not? What do they means in your world?

Send me an email with your thoughts and I will post them here, with an image of you. If you do not want your image here, please let me know. And if you would like a specific image placed, just send that along as well.